To the uttermost within...

It takes power to know this love?

2009-09-26T08:05:00.001-07:00

It takes power to know love?

One of my favorite passages in scripture, as well as a favorite prayer of Paul, is Ephesians 3.16-21. I had never seen the connection before, and was taken aback by the connection Paul draws between power and love. I understand how divine love is powerful, as in nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ. That's the most powerful love ever. But I never saw, and still don't quite grasp, why it takes incredible power to understand His love. I can understand how it takes wisdom, understanding, surrender, faith, truth, etc., to know His love… but power? Hmm.

There are five references to 'power' within these 5 verses.

16: "May he strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being"

"strengthen": meaning to empower, increase in vigor
"power": meaning force, miraculous power of works and abilities (our word dynamite comes from this root)
So, verse 16 could read, "May he empower, strengthen, and increase your vigor with dynamite force and miraculous ability"

18: "I pray that you… may be able to have power… to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge"

"may be able": have full strength, entirely competent, exercise force (our word execute comes from this root)
"power": to seize, possess, take eagerly, comprehend, overtake, attain (the same word is used twice in Phil 3.12 "I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me")
So, verse 18 could read, "I pray that you… may execute full forceful strength and entire competence to eagerly seize, possess, and take hold of His love"

20: "To Him who is able" (the word used in verse 18, from which our word dynamite comes)

What is this love that requires dynamite power and miraculous ability for me to take hold of mightily? I'm still not quite sure why it requires this awesome power to understand this divine love… unless it's referring to the fact that it requires dynamite power for one to hold on to this divine love. Any thoughts on this relationship with power and love?

2009-09-06T06:20:00.001-07:00

While I'm Waiting

Before I lived in a foreign country and was in the process of learning a completely new language, well, I guess I thought a life of ministry would be comparable to a wonderful worship song. You know, the kind that makes you feel good to be alive singing to your Maker. The kind that you never want to end. Well, you get the point. This morning I learned that living a life of worship takes on a whole new meaning when all you can do is cry through the song, "Blessed Be Your Name", which, by the way you are hearing in a foreign language.

I'm in a season of waiting. For what, I'm not sure. But I do know that I'm waiting on God. The 'for what' doesn't really matter. God is the One I want. Not an answer. Just Him.

This morning, before church, I was struck by Psalm 50. I've basically been at a loss for months to know what God wants of me in this waiting. God is saying… I don't rebuke you for your sacrifice. I see it. But you know what? I don't need them. I own everything anyway. But three things I want from you: "Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High, and call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor Me." Why? Verse 23, "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God".

So in church, I didn't catch much of what was being said (I'll be honest). But I understood enough words at one point to know he was reading from Isaiah 40. So I turned there and started reading… "A voice of one calling: 'In the desert prepare the way for the LORD; make straight in the wilderness a highway for our God'". I always wondered how to 'prepare the way'. Thank offerings, He says. He who sacrifices thank offerings… prepares the way. Hmm.

Isaiah 40 ends with, "Those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength." I looked up that word for 'hope': to bind together, perhaps by twisting, to expect, to gather together, look, patiently, tarry, wait for, on, upon. Yup, I'm in waiting upon Him. I'm hoping for Him. Apparently, according to this word, waiting involves some twisting… and twisting is very uncomfortable. Remember when some annoying kid took hold of your arm and twisted both hands opposite directions for an Indian sunburn? Yeh, that's twisting. And that hurts. Conclusion: waiting hurts. You can expect that.

So I wondered how this word for hope/wait was used in other places. The first place is Genesis 1.9 "let the waters be gathered together into one place". Interesting. Bound together, perhaps by twisting.

Then there is my Psalm for the year (since I'm 27… I've kinda created a personal tradition). "Wait on the LORD, be strong and take heart [fasten upon; seize, bind] and wait for the LORD". That says to me, when you're waiting and there's nothing left to do but wait, you fasten yourself to the anchor of your soul, your only hope, you seize it and bind yourself to it. Even if it drags you to the bottom of the ocean and your lungs fill with water… let your last breath be a sign of you binding yourself to Him with all that you have until there is no more to give.

Then there is Psalm 130… "Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD; O Lord, hear my voice. Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy… I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope. My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning."

And the God who hides himself, as experienced by Isaiah, "I will wait for the LORD, who his hiding his face from the house of Jacob. I will put my trust in him." (8.17)

And lastly, Lamentations, "Great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.' The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD… let him sit alone in silence, for the LORD has laid it on him." (3.23…28)

So there I am. Sitting alone in silence, waiting… twisting, fastening, seizing, anchoring myself to the Lord. And while I wait, I will sacrifice thank offerings, preparing the way for Him to come and show me (not just tell me) the salvation of God. Sounds like a good place to be… with a good outcome from a good God.

Beautiful

2009-06-30T06:08:00.000-07:00

God is so good. I've had her cd for months now, but somehow I've missed this song entirely. I am letting go of all I've held. I am coming to the end of myself. I am a lady in waiting... waiting in hope and expectation. Why do we fear brokenness? In the Gospels, Jesus is quoted as having said, "She has done a beautiful thing to me". Beautiful. Beautiful because there was brokenness and complete emptiness. That is what made it beautiful to Him. I want my life to be a beautiful thing for Jesus. And while it's what I want the most, I realize the only way for that to happen, like this nameless woman, is to be broken and poured out at His feet.
Can we not see beyond the present moment and hope for what we will be someday? In the midst of darkness, can we keep our eyes heavenward that all the world and all the angels would see how we seek His face no matter where we find ourselves, what mess we find ourselves in, or how we feel? That's what He wants. Perhaps its the very reason for the brokenness.

And even in the silence and the pain, He is still so beautiful. He doesn't have to say another word or touch my face again for me to believe. I know.

BEAUTIFUL by KARI JOBE (can be heard at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3Jv1Hf2oCw )
Here, before Your altar,
I am letting go of all I've held
of every motive, every burden,
everything that's of myself.
and I just wanna wait on You my God
I just wanna dwell on who You are.

beautiful, beautiful oh I am lost for more to say
beautiful, beautiful oh Lord, You're beautiful to me

oh beautiful

here in Your presence,
I am not afraid of brokenness
to wash Your feet with humble tears
oh I would be poured out till nothing's left.
and I just wanna wait on You my God

I just wanna dwell on who You are, who You are

Beautiful, beautiful oh I am lost for more to say
beautiful, beautiful oh Lord, You're beautiful to me

oh Lord You're beautiful, beautiful beautiful
holy holy holy You are You are
holy holy holy You are You are
holy holy holy You are You are
holy holy holy You are You are

beautiful, beautiful oh I am lost for more to say
beautiful, beautiful oh Lord, You're beautiful to me

and I just wanna wait on You my God
I just wanna dwell on who You are.

You Are For Me

2009-06-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

Life gets hard. Sometimes you come to a place, or a season, or whatever you want to refer to as, that you've never been to before. Maybe even a place you didn't know existed. A place where you might feel forsaken and you have to lean upon the truth you know from past experience. I heard this song today and listened to it a few times. Maybe you could use a reminder as well. Can be heard/seen at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdfKTTeGj2U

You Are For Me
by kari jobe

So faithful. So constant.
So loving and so true.
So powerful in all You do.

You fill me. You see me.
You know my every move
and You love for me to sing to You.

I know that You are for me.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never,
forsake me in my weaknesses

I know that You have come now,
even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me who You are.

So patient, So gracious,
So merciful and true…
So wonderful in all You do.
You know me. You see me.
You know my every move.
You love for me to sing to You

Lord, I know that You are for me.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never,
forsake me in my weaknesses.
I know that You have come now,
even if to write upon my heart.

To remind me that
I know that You are for me.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never,
forsake me in my weaknesses.
I know that You have come now,
even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me who You are.

I know that You are for me.
I know that You are for me.
I know that You will never,
forsake me in my weaknesses.
I know that You will come now,
even if to write upon my heart.
To remind me of who You are.

An explanation...

2009-05-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

So this picture was taken at my first visit to the beach in Thailand. Here I am in my stylish handmade grass hat sipping on my favorite beverage in Thailand. It's kinda like a cantaloupe flavored tea slushy with tapioca pearls at the bottom. I used to blow the tapioca pearls at the local goats in northeast Thailand with my 'little sister' danielle. That was back when we both had a lot of growing up to do. I wouldn't dare do such a thing today. Well, maybe just one.

To the uttermost within, first, and then without.

2009-05-22T08:32:00.000-07:00

When I think about the Lord,

how He saved me

how He raised me

how He filled me

to the uttermost

He filled me

with the Holy Ghost

When I think about the Lord,

how he picked me up,

turned me around

how he placed my feet

on solid ground

It makes me wanna shout,

Hallelujah! Lord You're worthy

of all the glory

and all the honor

and all the praise!

(by Shane and Shane)

So that's a little ditty about why I named the blog what I did. My favorite line, "how you saved me to the uttermost". Just like one of my favorite verses...

Heb 7:25 "He is able to save to the uttermost (completely, perfectly, finally, and for all time and eternity) those who come to God through Him, since He is always living to make petition to God and intercede with Him and intervene for them."

To the uttermost. As in, there is no more for Him to save me from... no, not even one little minute detail. Finished. Saved completely. What a thought.

So, the next thought is...

If this Great and Living God is going to use me to draw nations unto Himself and save them completely and to the uttermost... well, it has to start from within. And so it has begun.